anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “not to you”
U gotta act cool, calm and collected around liquid eyeliner bc it can sense ur fear
a sex position called the gatsby where you stare longingly at your partner from a distance
this is my favourite i consider myself a professional.
aw there’s a girl proposing to a guy in the bathroom!
I’m sure she is getting all choked up
It’s such big news it must be hard to swallow!
Such a big surprise , might not be able to wrap her head around it
sucks that this happens in a lousy public bathroom. let’s not blow it out of proportions.
That girl is sucking a penis.
woA H now let’s not jump to conclusions
fuck the moon im tryna get to Uranus hah only astronauts will get this one
I get this joke
you must be an asstronaut then
my mom ordered two different pizzas from two different places cause she had coupons and they both got here at the same time so we had a pizza hut delivery guy and a dominos delivery guy both standing by our front door and the dominos guy looks at the pizza hut guy and proceeds to sing Why Can’t We Be Friends? while the pizza hut guy just glares at him
If you say “nevermind” to me I will actually worry about it for the rest of my life